Thoughts from the day

Last night I put blankets over the windows in my room so that my body wouldn't be woken up with the sunrise. I wanted to sleep as long as my body would allow. I naturally woke up a little before 9 and layed in bed contemplating going to the gym. Suddenly I was reminded of coolness from the night before and jumped out of bed so that I could go for a run in the 75 degree weather. The sun was so inviting that I decided to grab Starbucks and go for a drive to one of my favorite spots in Highland Shores to spend time with Jesus near the water. I sat outside and the sweetness of God filled the air. So, all that to say, the first 2 hours of my day were euphoric. Then a picture fell out of my journal. Meet Promise (left) and Louise (right), my favorite two little girls from my first trip to the Daniel Hoover Children's Village in Liberia, Africa.



Every time I look at their little faces my heart leaps and aches all at the same time. It leaps at the fact that they both have been adopted by American families and that they are no longer intimately acquainted with a lack of food and parental guidance. It leaps that I was able to hug and kiss on them for 2 weeks straight. My heart leaps as it remembers Louise climbing in my lap one night without saying a word, just wanting to be held. It aches knowing it will most likely never see these two little faces again this side of heaven. It aches thinking of their experiences of war during their first 4 years of life and that they will never know their biological parents. Seeing this picture for the millionth time this morning made my mind go into a tailspin...

As I sat there surrounded by $500,000+ homes enjoying my morning, some little girl was most likely orphaned or sold into prostituition. As I sipped on my $3.00 Americano a little boy in the Sudan will walk for days without shoes, drinking his own urine to stay hydrated. As I hold my $20 dollar bible freely, someone in the East is memorizing scripture so they don't lose their life for owning a bible. As I savored the moments of my sabbath, a mom in this neighborhood will change the diaper of her 11 year old son with Cerebal Palsy. Another mother in the area will monitor her daughter's brain activity to be sure she isn't having another seizure or stroke. Someone will grieve the loss of a husband and be forced to raise their child alone. Somewhere a man will attempt to comfort his bride as she writhes in pain from a miscarriage. On Sunday, churches around the United States will be filled with broken hearts, lost dreams, and lifeless marriages. Guilt will be covered up with expensive clothing and strategically placed makeup. Shame will whisper in ears, and in attempt to drown it out the music will be turned up. People will insist they are fine while they are lugging around thousands of invisible chains. A girl will hate the decision she made last night that seemed so right at the time. Men will cross their arms along their chest as images of pornography dance in their head. Someone will tell a lie in order to cover up sin and then add a smile to ensure the listener he is telling the truth. A parent will stay quiet as their teenager numbs himself to life through his drug addiction. A man will seek death of another as revenge. Someone will grieve the loss of their grown child serving in Iraq. And the list of the broken continues on and on...

It is not getting any better. Government strategies and education are not working. Satan, the Prince of Darkness, lurks and convinces that our pain will be satisfied by the things of this world. He lies.

How do I reconcile my day with these heavy thoughts? Return to the gospel. Pray. Cling to hope.

"My soul clings to the dust; give me life according to your word! When I told of my ways, you answered me;
teach me your statutes! Make me understand the way of your precepts, and I will meditate on your wondrous works. My soul melts away for sorrow; strengthen me according to your word! Put false ways far from me and graciously teach me your law! I have chosen the way of faithfulness; I set your rules before me. I cling to your testimonies, O Lord; let me not be put to shame! I will run in the way of your commandments when you enlarge my heart." Psalm 119:25-32

Trust. Know that He is returning.

"For this perishable body must put on the imperishable, and this mortal body must put on immortality. When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written:

“Death is swallowed up in victory.”
“O death, where is your victory?
O death, where is your sting?”

The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain." 1 Corinthians 15:53-58.

The wrestle and the search for the line of being present with where the Lord has me, while being keenly aware of the hurting surrounding the world continues. All I know is that God is still good despite brokeness and sin, and that though suffering may last for a moment joy will indeed follow. The Gospel must remain central. I must remember that Jesus died for this broken place. I must remember the hope that is offered through God's grace. I must point to the cross, cling to the cross, and never move on from the cross. To God be the glory, please come quickly sweet Jesus!!