Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Meet Kristen, in 4th grade...

In July I began my blog with a reference to Chynna Phillips and my 4th grade school picture. I could not find the school pictures, so instead I posted this.
There have been several requests for the 4th grade picture to be posted on here. To those of you who have seen it you know why people would want this posted...it is truly HILARIOUS!! However, there are two small problems: 1) I have not sat down to figure out how to post pictures on here (anyone want to volunteer to help) and 2) I cannot find it!! Last night I looked in all of the places that stuff like that usually is kept and it is no where to be found. So, for now you will have to use your imaginations. Close your eyes and picture blond hair cut above the ears and the same length around the entire circumference of the head. Blue eyes peering out from under bushy eyebrows that touched in the center, and teeth that protruded slightly past the lip. For school picture day she chose a navy blue button down shirt with gold paisleys. You may think this is an exaggeration, but on more than one occasion the picture has been mistaken for a boy (thank you Jason Clarke). In order to remedy the physical appearance the teeth required a year of wearing a headgear (yes, the contraption that extends from inside the mouth to around the face and to the back of the head) and two more years with braces. The eyebrows that to this day are consistently plucked and threaded to keep the shape, were once shaved off entirely in an effort minimize their uni-brow effect...That was 7th grade, and when my math teacher asked allowed in front of the entire class why I looked different today, Christy Mungia (class bully) yelled, "because she shaved her face off this morning." The hair was treated by my best friend, Amber, who attempted to girli-fy it by encouraging me to borrow her headbands and bows as it slowly grew out.

This afternoon, I dug threw my parent's giant stack of pictures until I finally found it. Meet the 4th grade Kristen...please try to keep your laughter to a minimum. Praise Jesus that hair grows and that braces were invented!

For fun, I also thought I would include my school picture from the Catholic Pre-K I went to. I was 4 years old, so apparently my mom was okay with me sporting the "boy" look from 4 until I was 9 years old!

I tried to find a picture that could redeem my child femininity, but there weren't any. My mom insists that the rough looking years of short hair and buck teeth, followed by a few more of headgear and shaved eyebrows developed my character and personality. I hope it developed something, because otherwise I think it is just straight up child abuse. Mothers, use this as examples of what NOT to do to your daughter's hair.